its funny how easily we forget how the world thinks about sex.the outside world i mean, way outside. Â like in the midwest and southern states.

we are spoiled living in our liberal blue state on the edge of america.

a lot of people here are like me. Â and they ran away from where ever hellish redneck community they grew up in to be the gays and lesbians and whores they always knew they were.

 the outside world recently slapped me in the face.  the reality is out there.  i am a sexually  marginalized citizen because of what i choose as a career.  though i pay my taxes, have money in the bank and obey the law…. i am a lowlife piece of shit.  Â

a few months ago i bought a cat from the a breeder in michigan. Â before the sale she was sweet as can be, offering advice and telling me that i should feel free to contact her any time with concerns i may have about this kitten.

after we received our beautiful sphynx baby, heinrich… the breeder has changed her tune. Â deciding to be difficult and not sending the cat’s papers. Â in my efforts to get the papers sent to me it has somehow escalated into a fight.Â

i say “i have never been treated so rudely”

to which this breeders sister/business partner replies, “You Should Be Used To People Talking To You Far Worse Than That Seeing As How The Business You Are In Attracts All Physchos And Sexual Preadators.”

wow.

wow wow wow.

oh my god.

not that it has anything to do with anything else.

 this is just insane.

i forget people can be this way. Â its not like i disclosed information about my line of work to this person… they have been searching this out. Â like a crazy person.

this really bothers me a great deal. Â its the 2000’s, i am an adult… we are all adults.

i try to chalk it up to jealousy and ignorance.

i wish people like this would just fall off the planet.

    Â

for those who are not familiar with me, Dana, Little Dana, Little Dana DeArmond.

i have an addictive personality.

money, booze, sex, excitement, attention, drama, danger, narcotics. yes, i *heart* them all.

at a certain point in my young life i found that it was extremely difficult to drink myself to death…. which seemed to be a plan i have been working on for some years.

yeah, i know you were excited to meet this doped up, trashed, (possibly topless?) floozy…

but i assure you i have become a much better person in the 4+ years i have been sober.

so attention, excitement, money, sex and other repetitive motions are still very much a part of my addiction problem.

here’s where social networking comes in.

i consider myself extremely fortunate that MySpace.com (a place for friends) was being developed the exact same time i decided to quit, cold turkey, “for real this time”.

whatever would i have ended up doing with all those hours in the day i use up accepting friend requests and taking self portraits with my digital camera? would i have taken up a job as an assembly line worker? clicking little pieces of plastic of tab A into slot B?

maybe i would be stuffing envelopes from home, not for the extra income, but for the rhythmic fold, stuff, lick, stick, stamp… which would become my new mantra.

i have found much happiness in blogging, processing, communicating. i dont think i would have become this satisfied in my life without the help of MySpace.com (a place for friends)

and a place for friends indeed. i have captivated the hearts befriended several hundred thousand other profiles.

and i accept them all, unconditionally, 10 at a time.

sure i am using this as an outlet to keep me from hurting myself or others, but i like to think i give something back.

so now this blog is a new chapter in the life of the girl who lived in the internet.

www.theinternetsgirlfriend.com